Until Death
by hayniss-evernathy
Summary: The Capitol has decided that the districts need to replenish their populations. Marriages are arranged based on personality similarities. 23-year-old Katniss Everdeen is paired with the victor of the 50th Hunger Games. Thrust into the life of a victor's wife, Katniss learns more about the Hunger Games and the Capitol than she ever expected. Evernathy/Everlark
1. Chapter 1

The sun was barely over the meadow when she ventured out from their rundown shack of a home. 23-year-old Katniss Everdeen took a moment to relish in the squeaking of the old floorboards, the peeling walls and rusted kitchen sink on her last day as a member of the household. It was the day of the first ever Marriage Reaping, and the day that she would be forced into marrying the Capitol's "best choice" for her.

When the population of the districts started to dwindle, the Capitol decided that freedom to not marry was a freedom that the districts did not deserve to keep. Each eligible man and women in the districts with no spouse and no children would be paired off with a member of the opposite sex and required to make a life with that person. They would be required to have at least two children during the first ten years of their marriage. Prior to the Marriage Reaping, each townsperson had to complete 4 hours' worth of questionnaires so the Capitol could decide who they would be best fit to. Katniss completed her questionnaires begrudgingly a few weeks before the reaping. She knew that trying to postpone the inevitable would only put her family in danger.

As she walked from the only place that she'd ever been able to call home, Katniss fought a sick churning feeling that rose up inside of her. In just a few hours, she would be wed. She would be at the mercy of some strange man, stuck in his bed, forced to make him meals, forced to bare his children. She put a hand up to her mouth and willed away the feeling of dread and bile that threatened to make an appearance.

The walk to the bakery was not excessive. She took the time to enjoy the view of the woods from her path, unknowing if her husband will allow her to visit the bakery or go hunting. He may keep her isolated in the house to tend to his needs. She noted every tree, every twig and rock and speck and bird like it would be the last time she ever saw any of it. The walk didn't seem to take long enough.

Katniss knocked quietly on the back door of the bakery and hoped that, by some grace or luck, her fate would not be as ugly as she expected. Maybe she would be paired with a nice man who never expected her to do anything at all for him. _Yeah right, Katniss. Because life always works out that well, doesn't it? _

The door opened and Peeta peeked his head out. At the sight of her, he smiled widely and stepped out to join her, shutting the door quietly to avoid alerting his mother that he was escaping his bakery duties. At once, he pulled her into a tight embrace and she felt the shaking and jerking of his muscles on her. Gently, she rubbed his back and held him tighter.

"We'll be fine, Peeta. I'm sure your spouse will be kind and wonderful. She will be your perfect match." She whispered in his ear. To any outsider, the moment probably looked intimate in a way that supplanted their long-standing friendship

"_You_ are my perfect match." He whispered back to her. She shook her head at him and broke the embrace.

"You can't talk like that anymore, Peeta. We'll always be friends… That's all we can ever be now." She told him, rubbing a hand on his exposed arm and turning away. "I came here to say goodbye. I don't know what is going to happen after the reaping, but I don't want to leave things unsaid between us."

She looked away as he gave her a fearful and wounded expression. Her friendship with Peeta had endured more than anything else in her life. They met on the first day of Kindergarten. Peeta approached her at recess and asked her if she wanted to get married to him. She spit on the ground near his shoe and told him that she would only marry someone who could bring her as much candy as she wanted. The next day, Peeta approached her with a sugary cupcake that he had smuggled out of the bakery. The frosting was smeared and the cake was slightly smashed, but Peeta succeeded in winning over Katniss for the time being. She informed him that he would have to start bringing two treats when her baby sister was born and old enough to enjoy them too. Peeta accepted that challenge. They played together at recess every day for the rest of their elementary years.

As the years went on, Katniss and Peeta stayed friends. When Katniss's dad passed away, Peeta held her hand at the funeral and made sure everyone at school was nice to her when she came back. He made her a card and colored a picture of her walking with her dad, hand-in-hand, on the cover. That was the first time Peeta saw her cry. The year of their first reaping, Peeta brought Katniss a bag full of cheese buns and they shared their first kiss. Katniss didn't want to die without a kiss, and Peeta didn't want to die without a kiss from Katniss. Each reaping, they would share a simple kiss. Before their final reaping, Peeta gave Katniss her first orgasm and she cried in front of him for only the second time ever. Though Peeta was brought up in a Merchant home, and Katniss came from a poor, starving family in the Seam, most of the townfolks assumed that the two of them would eventually get married and start a family of their own.

Thanks to the Capitol and the new marriage reaping, that future was no longer a possibility. Not that Katniss wanted to marry Peeta... She never planned on marrying or having children. Though if someone had put a gun to her head and forced her to choose a spouse, it definitely would have been Peeta. But unless she was forced, she was not going to settle down with anybody.

_Peeta deserves better than me. He wants kids and a cozy home. I just want to survive. _

"If it weren't for the reaping and the new rules, would you marry me?" He asked her, looking hopefully at her with watery blue eyes. "Would we have children someday? Can you see that, Katniss?"

She closed her eyes as the images he'd described seemed to assault her every sense. The smell of bread and cake on his skin as they climbed into bed together; a tiny blonde child running into Peeta's arms and laughing as Peeta spun him around and around; a quaint home in-between the seam and the merchant quarter, with a porch table she would use to skin her kills that Peeta would cook into all kinds of delicacies.

"It can't happen now. We might as well not focus on what could have been… We're both getting married today."

"Maybe we will get paired with each other. Maybe we are a perfect match and the tests will decide so too." Peeta choked as he grabbed her back into his arms and hugged her more tightly than she had ever been hugged. Realizing the foolishness of his hope, he sobbed into her shoulder. "I hope he treats you like a princess, Katniss. I hope he is good to you."

Holding back a flood of her own tears, Katniss told him that she hoped the same for him. Though she was never able to fully love and appreciate Peeta in the same way that he did her, she knew that there was no one better in the district to be stuck with for life. She hoped his wife would realize that she was the luckiest woman to marry Peeta Mellark.

Before she parted from him, he handed her a bag of cookies.

"If he doesn't let you see me, or let you have sweets, save some and think of me, okay? If he hurts you, come find me, Katniss. We can run away together. We can. Just be safe. Promise?" She nodded at his words and he looked desperately at her. "Promise me you will be safe. I need you to promise."

"I promise. I will do my best to stay safe," she swore to him before tucking the bag under her arm and sending him the most reassuring smile that she could muster up. "I have to meet Gale for a few hours. We want to leave our families with enough to eat… Just in case."

Peeta nodded and turned to go back into the bakery. "If I see Prim around, I'll make sure she has enough to eat too."

Katniss reached out to give him fingers a squeeze before she turned away. It was hard enough leaving her home and her sister. Leaving Peeta as well felt like a punch to the gut. The marriage reaping seemed like more of an injustice as each agonizing moment went by.

!

After dropping the bag off for Prim at the house, Katniss snuck under the fence and ventured into the woods. Like her walk to town, she tried to take in as much of her surroundings as she could. She wanted a mental picture of the place that the loved the most. She needed a way to recall her life of freedom while she was stuck in a loveless marriage for the rest of her days.

If surviving each reaping without having her name called was just a prelude to a life sentence of playing house with a stranger, Katniss was no longer sure why she was so afraid of the Hunger Games. Sure, she would be forced to kill other kids and probably be murdered in a vicious way. But at least she would know how things were going to happen. With the marriage reaping, she could end up with a man who rapes her every night. She could end up with a man who beats her and treats her like a slave. She could end up with a man who expects her to bear 10 children and raise them all while he works in the mines. She could be forced to watch her own children compete in the Hunger Games. She could be forced to watch them die of starvation. There was no happy ending to the marriage reaping. It was a lifetime of servitude and torture that almost made her smile at the thought of a slow death in an arena.

When she got to her meeting spot with Gale, she noticed that his usual smile was wiped clean off of his face. This was no time for joking or joy. They both needed to provide as much meat to their families before the marriage reaping as they possibly could. Both of their kitchens were littered with dried and jerked meats for their siblings and mothers to eat in the coming months. Gale and Katniss had a long-standing agreement. If one of them was not around to provide for the families, the other would pick up the slack. If neither of them were around, Peeta would do his best to help. Thought Gale was not Peeta's biggest fan, he couldn't afford to lose an ally now. He had no clue what the marriage reaping would bring to him. He could be assigned a home on the opposite side of District 12, nearly an hour walk to his mother's home in the Seam. There was no way that he would be able to work in the mines and hunt for them if he was placed far away.

"Did you say bye to Peet-peet?" He asked her jokingly, desperate to cut the tension in the area.

"Yeah. He's panicking, of course. Wants me to run away with him if my spouse is a dick."

"You should." Gale tells her as they check the snares they'd set the previous morning. "Get out of here and have the romantic fairytale life that he wants to give you."

"What about Prim?" Katniss laughs, "Will she have a fairytale life with Peeta too? She's only 17, Gale. I can't leave her alone just yet. She doesn't even know how to hunt."

"Prim would be fine, Catnip. I would make sure she doesn't starve. Her and Rory are already talking about getting married in the fall to save them from the marriage reaping. Though I don't think that's the only reason." Gale grinned at the shocked look on her face and started to reset the snares. "Not everybody is opposed to the idea of marriage like you."

"Prim is too young to marry."

Gale scoffed in her direction and shook his head, "Would you rather she goes through the reaping and gets paired with some stranger? They're doing it every 4 years, Katniss. If she doesn't marry before she turns 21, she'll be in the pool of eligible women. Rory is a good kid. I'll watch out for them."

Katniss shuddered at the thought of Prim being forced into a loveless marriage.

"You're right. She should marry Rory. That's how it was always going to be anyway."

"Yep," Gale said slowly, looking over at Katniss as he said, "Me and you, Prim and Rory. That's how it was always going to be. Until Peet-peet came along and stole you from me."

Katniss rolled her eyes at his exaggerated memory. "I'm not with Peeta. I was never with you. Are we talking about a different Katniss Everdeen?"

"You'll never understand the effect you have on men, Katniss." Gale punched her shoulder lightly and sighed. "It's too bad there aren't two of you. One for the baker and one for me."

"There isn't even one of me for either of you." Katniss replied, aiming her bow at the tree and shooting down a fat bird. "Plus, I never wanted to pick either of you. I wasn't going to marry anybody, Gale."

"What about before the last reaping when you let Peeta-"

"Fuck off, Gale."

"I'm not a sore loser, Catnip. If you had to choose a guy to marry, I know it would have been Peeta. You know it would have been Peeta. Hell, the whole districts knows-"

"Can you please shut up?" She screeched at him, "It's not happening. I'll be paired with some asshole for the rest of my life. I'm an asshole and I'm going to be paired with an asshole. I don't want to dwell on this anymore. Whatever marriage I have will be a complete joke."

Gale looked her over sadly and nodded. They finished their hunt in silence and vowed to meet each other before the reaping began. When she got home, Katniss skinned her kills and prepared the meat before taking a hot bath. Each eligible man and woman was required to attend the marriage reaping dressed in their finest clothing. They must be clean, made-up and looking good for their potential spouses.

After each couple is paired together, they will be given two hours to find their residence, gather their belongings from their old homes (if necessary) and make their way back to the square to partake in the mass wedding. After that, each couple was required to go back to their new home and consummate their marriage. Though the Capitol said that consummation was a required part of the wedding night, and every married female would be tested for pregnancy each month, Katniss planned on postponing that part of her "marriage" for as long as humanly possible. The thought of having children was terrifying to her. She hoped that her spouse felt the same way.

Once she was clean and looking presentable enough to attend the Capitol's joke of a reaping ceremony, she allowed her mother and sister to fawn over her and make her "look like a bride," as Prim worded it.

"I can't believe you are actually getting married today." Prim said, sounding more excited about the ordeal than Katniss would have liked. "Hopefully you get paired with a hunk!"

"It's not like it's my choice, Prim. I don't want to get married and I don't want to leave you and mom." Katniss swallowed deeply as her mom tucked one of her small braids into her hairdo and pinned it in place. "What if he doesn't let me leave the house? What if he-"

"You are smart, Katniss."

Katniss stared at her mother dumbly in the broken mirror in front of her. Cappie Everdeen was a woman of few words. Since her husband passed away 12 years ago, she spoke maybe twice a month. For the 3 years after her husband died, she was in such a deep state of grief that she did nothing at all. Katniss kept them all alive during that time. Eventually, Cappie began to come out of her shell and support her children again, but she still chose not to speak. Or maybe it wasn't a choice. Katniss wasn't sure. All she knew was that she resented her mother for abandoning them, and she wasn't sure she would ever get over that resentment.

Sensing her daughter's hesistance, Cappie continued in a stern voice. "You are a smart girl. You are strong. You've held our family together since you were 11 years old. If this man touches you or hurts you or treats you poorly, I know that you aren't going to stand by and let it happen. You will fight back and you will win. Don't speak as if your life is over, Katniss. It's just beginning."

Prim looked at her sister with a wide grin on her face. Their mother spoke more words in that moment than she'd probably said in the previous year of her life. Unable to find words to refute her mother's speech, Katniss nodded softly and tried to believe that she was as strong and smart as she'd been told.

!

Her mother and Prim stood behind the divider in the back of the square, like parents who were waiting for their children to be reaped. Cappie wasn't eligible for the marriage reaping because of her two children. Prim was a year too young. Katniss was relieved that her mom and sister would not be forced to endure the same fate that she was facing.

The groups were split into two: male and females. Katniss peered into the group of males and managed to spot Peeta. He was already staring over at her and he lifted his hand up to her in a wave. She reciprocated the action and began to look over the rest of the male group. Most of the males were in their twenties, but there were still plenty of older men. A gentleman who looked to be the age of 80 was standing toward the back of the group. Katniss wondered if he was a widow with no children. How unfair for him to be forced to marry someone at the end of his life. Most people in District 12 don't make it past age 40. This man was practically an idol and he would have to share his life with a stranger.

The women's group had a fair share of older women in it as well. Several Katniss knew were infertile. What an injustice for them to be forced into marriages with the purpose of reproducing when they were physically incapable of doing so. The flaws in the system were so prevalent that Katniss wondered if it was more about control than it was about the population.

Suddenly, something familiar caught her eye. The gaudy outfit and enormous wig of the District 12 escort, Effie Trinket. Katniss couldn't help but roll her eyes at the fact that the woman who escorts children to their deaths was there to pair people off with a spouse. Marriage and death shouldn't be closely correlated in that way.

Effie approached the microphone stand with a smile and tapped on the object before speaking.

"Welcome everybody! I'm sure you are all so excited for the first ever Marriage Reaping! I know I am! What an exhilarating day for everyone here!"

A man approached Effie and handed her a large envelope. Gingerly, she ripped open the item and pulled out a long list. It reached almost halfway to the floor and Effie giggled happily.

"Our marriage list is here. How wonderful! I hope you are all ready to meet your new spouses! The list is in alphabetical order by surnames. I will call husbands first, followed by the name of their wives. Please join me on the stage and we will continue until all of our new couples are together!" Effie grinned at all of us, but to the credit of district 12, nobody smiled back.

Clearing her throat, Effie held up the list and began.

**Katniss POV**

"Our first couple starts with the one and only, Haymitch Abernathy, age 40, District 12 mentor and victor of the Second Quarter Quell."

I watch as the older man makes his way up to the stage. I feel sorry for whoever is paired with Haymitch Abernathy. He is surly, constantly drunk and generally dirty. I'm surprised that he wasn't exempt from the reaping since he is a mentor and Hunger Games victor. He stumbles up the steps and looks surprisingly sober for the occasion. His eyes are cast downward and it looks like the idea of meeting his spouse is making him sick.

"The wife of Haymitch Abernathy will be a woman by the name of Katniss Everdeen, age 23, daughter of Cappie Everdeen and the late Weston Everdeen."

The entire crowd turns to look at me as I digest the information. I've been paired with a Hunger Games victor. The only living victor in District 12. A 40-year old drunk.

All I can think in this moment is that the victor's children _always_ get reaped. My worst fears are going to come true now. It's almost unavoidable. I'll have to have children with this dirty, drunk man. I'll have to watch them in the Hunger Games. And this man, this husband of mine, will have to mentor them. I'll raise them and love them and feed them. And watch them die.

This can't be happening.

_I'm very excited about this story! I hope I get a few fans and we can enjoy the ride together. Please review and follow so I know that I'm getting a response. Thanks!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you so much to every reviewer. I really appreciate it. Please note that, in this story, Haymitch is 40 and Katniss is 23. I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and sorry to everyone for the long delay. Warning: Mature themes. _

It's been three hours since we boarded the train to the Capitol, and Haymitch and I still have not spoken. He is in the bar car, most likely drinking enough to forget that he is now married to me. I've been watching the districts go by, taking in the images of the foreign places and wondering if every other marriage reaping couple is as miserable as we are.

After the reaping was over, we were all rushed off to our places. I was ushered away by Effie Trinket, required to travel to the Capitol for a meeting at the president's mansion. That is all of the information I've been given. As I was basically shoved away from the square, I managed to wave at mom and Prim, and catch a glimpse of Peeta and his new wife, Delly.

Delly Cartwright is happy, pretty and social. I could have seen the pairing coming from a mile away if I'd given it any thought at all. I was too busy hoping my family wouldn't starve to death to care. Now that it's all over, I'm really glad that Peeta has a good wife. It's one less thing for me to worry about.

Gale was paired with a woman named Danica. She is probably in her early 30's, but very pretty and can obviously hold her own. She has a table in the Hob where she sells knives and weapons. Her trade is a black market in the black market. She fashioned me a few special arrowheads in exchange for a raccoon tail. It's very secretive stuff, but I think that is probably why she and Gale are the perfect match. I hope he learns to be happy with her.

As for me, I don't think there is any way that I will ever be happy with Haymitch. He's a drunk. All of us have been starving for years while Haymitch spends all of his money on alcohol. One bottle of his white liquor could pay for an entire seam family to eat for weeks. It sickens me. I could hardly look at him during the ceremony. When Effie declared us husband and wife, I had to make a conscious effort to keep the scowl off of my face.

If I'm being completely honest, though, he didn't look that bad all cleaned up. In fact, he could almost be considered handsome. Not that I would ever look at him in that light.

And now, as he walks into this room and plops down on the couch across from me, I remember why he is still single at 40 years old. The stench of alcohol radiates from him to me from 5 feet away. His hair, which was cleaned and well-maintained during the ceremony, is messy and borderline greasy, no doubt from all of the sweating during his drunken binge. His shirt is dangling down, no longer tucked neatly into his nice trousers (which could also feed a seam family for a week, I might add) and Haymitch Abernathy looks every bit the 40 years he is.

"I'm sorry," he begins, and I have to admit to myself that the words surprised me, "I'm sure the last thing you wanted in your life was to marry someone like me."

"Or to marry at all…" I finish his sentence, trailing off at the end before I say something rude during our first conversation.

"Yeah, or that." Haymitch gets up from his seat and moves over so that he is sitting right next to me. He leans in close and moves the hair behind my ear. I flinch at the touch and glare at him. Before I can yell, he's leaning his mouth over to my ear. "Don't say anything, just listen." He whispers. "We are being watched very closely. I need to you act a bit less pissy for the remainder of the trip. When we get there, we will do whatever Snow tells us to do. The victors have already been threatened that our spouses are to comply or Snow will convince them. By that, I mean he is going to kill everyone you love if you don't listen to him. Do you understand me, sweetheart?"

With his words, I feel the blood rushing out of my face. I apparently underestimated the situation. I assumed that we would be forced to have children and live in wedded misery, and I assumed that we would be required to act like we are in love for any portion of the year that Haymitch may be in the public eye. What I didn't realize was that we would have direct instructions from the most evil man in the world that, if we fail to follow, will endanger everyone I love. Prim, mom, Peeta, Gale and their families will be compromised if I can't do exactly what I'm told. It is now that I resolve to do whatever it is, as long as they are safe. I can endure any type of torture as long as everybody is safe.

I nod at Haymitch and try to take a few deep breaths. I doubt we are supposed to discuss such things, especially since we are being watched. I look around the car for cameras, but can't seem to distinguish any. They are probably well-hidden, I suppose. This is a train intended for tributes, so I'm sure they want to be informed of anything and everything that their cattle are doing.

Haymitch and I sit next to one another for the rest of the day. We don't speak to one another, but when it is time to eat dinner, he rests a hand gently on my back as we enter the dining car. The little touch throws me off, but I quickly regain my cool and give him a small smile. When it is time to go to bed, I head to an empty train car and Haymitch heads to another one. Effie Trinket scoffs at me and grabs me before I can close the door.

"Katniss, you are required to sleep in the same bed as your husband. Silly girl! Weren't you ever taught about marriage?"

I gape at her before remembering what Haymitch told me earlier. I am to do whatever it takes to protect my loved ones, but I will not have sex with him unless it is one of the topics of the meeting with the president. Sleeping in the same bed is bad enough.

"Oh! Of course!" I retreat, smiling my sweetest smile at Effie and then glancing over at Haymitch, who looks a bit stricken himself. "I'm sorry, I'm just not used to being a wife, I suppose."

I head into Haymitch's car and shut the door behind us before Effie can make any more demands. Once we are alone, I let the act fade away and slumped to the floor. Pretending to be carefree and joyful about my life is more exhausting than I even could have imagined. I would almost prefer Seam life, when being miserable and starving and angry was just the normal attitude. Acting like that today would send off red flags everywhere. A new bride is not supposed to be like me. I wonder if I will ever be allowed to act like that again.

Haymitch takes a bottle of liquor from his pocket and offers it over to me. I never would have thought of indulging in something so disgusting and wasteful, but I don't feel like I have anything left to lose. I unscrew the cap and down a few gulps of the horribly bitter liquid. Haymitch grabs another bottle from under the bed and douses at least half of it in one drink.

"We'll be okay." He offers up quietly before taking another drink.

"Are you sure?" I whisper back, staring at him and hoping to get a bit of positive feedback.

"Either that, or we die trying."

!

We are startled awake in the morning by Effie pounding on the door. We slept in much too late for her liking, missed breakfast and were somehow destroying her entire schedule. Haymitch doesn't seem too heartbroken over it.

We dress in the clothes that were specifically laid out for us. I am forced to wear an expensive-looking green blouse with buttons that are made of a stone I've never even seen before. They are nothing like the buttons we have in District 12. Not even the mayor's family wears buttons so lavish. A sleek brown skirt that reaches the floor is also included. It's all very form-fitting. Breasts that I usually try to hide under my father's hunting jacket are shaped and displayed in this outfit, and my behind is too large to hide in the tight material of the skirt. My waist is small and my hips, which have always been larger than I would like, give me the shape of an hourglass. Back in the district, something like this would be worn (though not as expensive or clean) by a women who was looking for extra money to feed her family by sleeping with the Peacekeepers.

I feel cheap in the clothes but I know it is not anything I can control. There is a reason this outfit was chosen for me, and I have to abide by the rules. When I exit the car, Effie claps her hands excitedly and wobbles over to me in her giant-heeled shoes.

"Look at you! You are beautiful! Who knew that all of that beauty was under all of that… dirt. Haymitch, doesn't she look absolutely perfect?"

Haymitch nods his head and turns back to his meal. That is finally when I notice all of the food laid out on the table. There are at least twenty dishes, swimming in sauces and butters and creams. There are fruits that I've only seen in old textbooks at school and meats that look perfectly cooked and crispy. I can't even bring myself to thing about the Seam and the meager meals that everyone back in District 12 are enduring. All I can think about is how much I hope some of this food is for me.

"Go ahead, sweetheart. You are a victor's wife now." He tells me with a light chuckle. At least he understands my train of thought. I'll ignore the whole 'sweetheart' thing for the time being. Loving newlyweds don't usually admonish each other for nicknames.

Before I can ever think twice, I am sitting in the chair next to Haymitch, grabbing as many different items as I can and piling them onto my plate. He grabs my wrist lightly and stops me from grabbing any more food. I want to scream at him, but I just meet his gaze and let him interrupt what is going to be the best meal of my life.

"This food is too rich to overeat, especially for someone who is used to meager portions. Control yourself or puke. Your choice."

I scowl at the harsh tone of his voice and continue piling on delicious looking foods. I don't actually care if I get sick. I want to try everything on the table and I want to eat to my heart's content. It's not every day that a Seam girl gets to try Capitol delicacies.

I start with a strip of crispy meat. It melts on my tongue and the greasy, salty fat reminds me of nothing I've ever had before. Another piece of meat covered in rich gravy makes me close my eyes with enjoyment. I take several pieces of perfectly cooked toast and Haymitch advises that I dip them in an egg yolk. It is absolutely heavenly. I try a light green fruit with a mild taste covered in some kind of syrup. I eat cream-filled pastries and glasses of thick cow's milk. I practically inhale sausages and light gravy over buttermilk biscuits and jellies and jams and juices made out of fruits that I've never even heard of. By the time I am done eating, I feel too bloated for my outfit and ready for a nap. An achy, full feeling in my stomach makes me feel how I imagine pregnancy will be.

"You feel okay, kid?"

"Don't call me kid, Haymitch. It's not very convincing." I place a hand on my head and swallow back the food that is trying to come back.

"I told Effie that you will probably need to lie down. We've got two hours until we arrive at the Capitol."

"I'm fine, really." I tell him, though I'm sure he can see on my face that I am slowing losing my ability to speak through the nausea.

He rolls his eyes at me and shrugs, "If you really want to vomit in the president's mansion, suit yourself."

I have to admit to myself that he has a good point, so I slowly get up from the table and head to the room. I practically collapse onto the bed and fall asleep before I can even think about being sick.

!

The nausea from before is long gone and replaced with a whole new kind of sickness. Haymitch and I are sitting around a large table with almost 100 other people, all victors and their new spouses. Haymitch is chatting with a dark-skinned man who I found out is from District 11. His spouse is actually another victor. They were paired together during the marriage reaping. I have to wonder why they didn't just get married before all of this happened to avoid the reaping. Looking around the room, I don't see anybody who is much younger than me. Johanna Mason is probably about the same age as myself, but her spouse is easily 20 years her senior. She looks miserable and disgusted with everyone around her. Her facial expressions are revealing everything that I feel as well.

After what seems like hours, President Snow finally enters the room and nearly every voice around me goes quiet. He waves at us all briefly like he is waving to a crowd of adoring fans. Nobody responds to him. He makes his way to a podium and takes his place overlooking everyone in the room.

"Welcome Victors and your new spouses. Congratulations on your nuptials. I am sure that all of you are pleased with the Capitol's choices and will enjoy your lives together." He extends his arms toward us with a fake smile on his face. I hate him so much, though, that a real smile would probably not do anything for me either. "You are probably wondering why I have summoned all of you here today… Well, as you know, there has been some anger in the districts regarding the marriage law. The districts are not open-minded to this innovative idea, and it will be your jobs to convince them otherwise."

I look over to Haymitch but he and another victor seem to be having a silent conversation with one another. I recognize the other victor to be Finnick Odair. Next to him sits Annie Cresta, who is also a District 4 victor. The two had a very controversial wedding earlier in the year. Finnick announced that he and Annie were marrying because he knew their children would be strong and beautiful tributes. The whole thing made me sick.

"Your assignment is simple. All of you have been tested for fertility. You are all candidates to have viable, healthy children. When the districts see your happy families, they will realize that this law is a good thing. Therefore, females must be impregnated as soon as possible. Each couple has a room here in order to accomplish this. You have an hour to consummate your marriages. When the hour is up, the females will be examined. Any couple who does not complete the required consummation will face a severe disciplinary punishment. In two months' time, if pregnancy has not been achieved, victors will be places with another spouse in order to accomplish the task. I trust you understand what will happen to the other spouse. This is not to be taken lightly, victors." He steps back from the podium and looks around the room. My head is swimming and I feel as if I'm going to pass out right at the table. I grab Haymitch's hand under the table. As much as I hate having to touch him, I need a bit of strength right now. I can't handle any of this on my own. He squeezes my hand back and I feel nauseous. Soon enough, we will be in bed together. It won't be my first time having sex with a man, but it was different before. Peeta and I were best friends. Peeta was safe and warm. He spent money on protection to make sure I wouldn't get pregnant. It was wonderful and perfect, and the best way to forget about final reaping. This is forced and ugly and threatening. How are we ever supposed to stand being married to one another when we have this hanging over our heads? It's a bigger nightmare than anything I've dealt with before this.

The President excuses himself from the room and everything goes haywire. Victors launch from their seats and start screaming. Women are crying and two of them get sick all over the table. The men are all outraged, yelling and jeering in the general direction of where Snow left the room. Haymitch pulls a bottle out of his pocket. I expect him to drink some of it, but he hands it over to me instead.

"You are probably going to want to be drunk for this."

I agree. With shaking hands, I nurse the bottle like I did the night before.

Finnick Odair and Haymitch seem to be communicating with one another still. There is something going on here, but I don't have the energy to care about it. I'm too preoccupied with the imminent sex and pregnancy. Snow basically announced that any victors who failed to achieve pregnancy in the next two months would be re-wed and their old spouses murdered. I would die if I didn't have a baby with Haymitch. My family would likely die as well. There was absolutely no way around this. I drink as many nasty gulps of the liquor as I can manage without vomiting. It doesn't take very long to feel like I am floating. Haymitch helps me out of my chair and escorts me down the various corridors of the mansion. I feel like an animal being lead to slaughter.

When we reach the room, the alcohol finally hits me head on. Haymitch has not had anything to drink, and I grateful for that. I want him to know what he is doing. And I know that he suggested I drink so that I wouldn't have to feel all of what is going on. I'm surprised by the way he is trying to make this better, but I don't think it's possible. As nice as he is being, I don't want to have sex with him. I don't want to create a child with him. I can't believe this is happening.

He lays me down on the bed and I close my eyes. The alcohol is making me feel floaty and I watch as Haymitch begins to remove his clothes. I can't help but think back to that one time with Peeta. His pale, strong body, the tufts of blonde hair all over his torso and feeling of being filled up with the most intimate part of him. This is different.

Haymitch is very strong. That is the first thing that I notice about him. Despite the years of alcohol abuse and the subsequent belly, his arms and legs are hugely muscular. His chest is hairy and he isn't looking me in the eye. Judging by the way his undergarments are bending, he is aroused and much larger than Peeta in that department. I'm grateful for the alcohol when I remember how much it hurt the first time. I start to take off my own clothing. It's difficult, but I know that I need to do this. I want a bit of control in the situation, so I strip off every bit of my clothing and lay back in the bed. I spread my legs open and wait for the violation.

Surprisingly, it does not come. Haymitch grabs my hand and places it on his stomach.

"You're in control, sweetheart."

I stare up at him in my drunken stupor and shake my head. "Don't call me sweetheart." I bring my hand down to the swollen part of him and give it a squeeze. I'm not a stranger to the male anatomy, or I probably wouldn't be so crass about it. My prior experience makes me feel less vulnerable and I get the urge to tell Haymitch about this. "I'm not a virgin, ya know."

"I didn't know."

"Now you do." I move my hand a bit and try to forget that this man is a stranger. An old, drunk stranger who I am forced to have sex with. I try to picture that this is something that I want. That Haymitch sets me on fire with lust. I try to focus on his strong arms and legs, his grey eyes that look so much like my own and the tight, set jaw covered in prickly hairs. It isn't difficult to be attracted to him in a sexual way right now. It's probably the fault of the alcohol, but I don't have the sobriety to fully analyze it.

It's not the first time in my life that I've been aroused. For some reason, the longer I stroke him, the more I want to be closer to him. I lean forward and grab his lips in a sloppy kiss. He tastes clean and the prickles on his face tickle my cheeks and chin. We are both completely naked and I know that it's time to do what we have been commanded to do. I grab his neck and pull him to me as I lean back on the soft bed. I'm shaking with nerves but excited at the same time. All I can think about is the masculine scent of him and the carnal pleasure that I've only experienced once before. Now is not the time to think about Peeta though, so I force myself to look at Haymitch and accept that this is now my life.

His hesitance is palpable but I'm determined to make this all happen. For Prim, for everyone I love, for the throbbing in my core and the steading heat of his warm member. This has to happen. I thrust my center up to Haymitch, silently giving him the permission to begin. He reaches a hand down to me and recoils at the feeling of wetness. I meet his gaze with half-lidded eyes and nod. He needs to realize that this is not just a duty for me now. This is something that I want and need. And I know much of my loss of inhibitions is due to the alcohol, but I can't seem to care. Haymitch aligns himself with my wetness and I feel the stretching sensation that I remember from years back.

The initial feeling is of discomfort. It's a stretching and burning but I won't try to stop him now. This has to happen. A few more thrusts push him deeper into me and something happens. He nudges a spot inside of me that makes me want more. I start to thrust my hips up with his movements and suddenly an animalistic passion takes over. Everything is swimming from the alcohol and my head is burning with heat, but the rest of me is burning with it. Haymitch's hair is hugging my shoulder. His face is buried in my shoulder as the thrusts increase in strength. I clutch his hair in my fingers and close my eyes with the impending feelings of overwhelming pleasure.

Suddenly, an uncontrollable tightening feeling takes over my body. I gasp as I lose control of myself and twitch as Haymitch continues his ever-quickening movement. After I come down from the feeling, my vision is completely spinning. The alcohol is kicking in stronger every moment and I ride my high as Haymitch finally finishes. The feeling of his release inside of me is a terrifying thing, and I resist the urge to push him away. This needs to happen.

When all is said and done, my center is throbbing, but not in a bad way. I never expected to enjoy this at all. Though I know that the morning will bring regret and fear and possibly disgust, right now I am fine with the man who will father my children.

Right now, everything is okay.

_Tons of smut, I know. Please review. I will update soon._


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